Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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