is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
