i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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