He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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