So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
