who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
