The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
