He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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