I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
