Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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