Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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