Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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