yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
