What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize