are you still at the devil's house?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
