that's an acceptable place to lick
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
