i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
