I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
