Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
