that's an acceptable place to lick
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
