Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
