"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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