I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this just has baby written all over it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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