afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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