it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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