I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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