I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
