Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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