I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
