Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
