I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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