that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
