school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
