i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
