This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
