She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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