I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
