Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
