We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
