one might say we're banned from that church
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
