Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
