she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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