i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
