My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
