It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
