Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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