last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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