Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
