Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
