the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
